Remembering your pet
October 24, 2019
Gillions Pet Memorial service
Sunday 17 November 2019 at 2pm - in our chapel 407 Hillside Road, South Dunedin
Saying goodbye is the hardest part of having an animal in your life.
At Gillions, we love our pets and we, too, have experienced their loss.
When talking with our team it got us thinking about how loss and grief for our pets is not widely acknowledged in the New Zealand context.
This led to the idea of hosting a pet memorial service here in our chapel.
We hope it will provide an opportunity for pet lovers to come together for a special ceremony to remember our animal friends. We will have a local celebrant, live music, a photoshow and a chance for all to participate.
The highlight of the service will be the photoshow where you will be able to see a photo of your loved pet up on the screen. All photos received by 10 November will be entered in a prize draw – the winner of the draw will have the photo crafted into a detailed pencil impression by Dunedin artist, Tania Willis.
Light refreshments will be available after the service so those attending can share their memories in our reception lounge.
Pet lovers know that their pet is not just a “cat” or a dog” – it is a family member. When that beloved pet dies, the loss felt is truly significant. What can make it even harder is that society often denies you an opportunity to express your grief and to mourn. Sometimes people try to help by saying “it’s just an animal” or “you can get another one”. When you are feeling the loss intensely this can add to your sadness.
Your emotions may swing between sadness, confusion, guilt and emptiness. Each family member may feel the loss differently and need to grieve in their own way.
The relationship with a pet is often the most meaningful relationship an older person has after they have lost their life partner. When that pet then dies, this may trigger old grief losses and we have all witnessed how painful this is for the families we care for.
In our experience it helps to talk about your loss and to share precious memories.
We hope that we can help by providing this opportunity for our community.
For those that would like to come to the service, please let us know by 10 November by registering on the Gillions the community page or phoning us on 03 455 2128 during business hours. Photos can be uploaded to the website, emailed or we can scan them for you at our office (please phone first to schedule a time).
What exactly is a direct cremation
If you have been keeping up with the news lately you may have noticed several distressing stories about a lack of care demonstrated by some funeral directors when being contracted by bereaved families after the loss of their loved one. There is no government regulatory authority for funeral directors in New Zealand but all funeral directors must comply with legal requirements around care of the deceased as specified in the Burials and Cremations Act. In addition, there are requirements for fair pricing and contracts under the Fair Trading Act, as well as obligations that apply under the Consumer Guarantees Act. We are members of the Funeral Directors Association so adhere to the ethics and standards that are part of our membership. We know that transparency of pricing is important along with ensuring that the options chosen work with families’ budgets. We regularly provide detailed pricing estimates along with information to help with farewell planning. Our many years of experience have also shown us that it is important to be looking at the ‘big picture’ when choosing a service provider. When you engage Gillions to look after arrangements for your loved one you will have the comfort and assurance that they will be well looked after from the time we transfer them to our care until the time we take them to the crematorium or cemetery. Our care for you continues beyond this time as we know that grief does not have a time limit.
Writing down my wishes
How Victorians Mourned
Because pets can't speak their grief often manifests in behavioural changes
Making the decision to euthanise a pet is never easy
We’re often asked whether children should be involved after a family member's death, and if so, how? While you know your children best, our general advice is to include them as much as possible. Children will take cues from the adults around them, so if you're open and honest, they will likely follow suit. Answer their questions directly but avoid unnecessary details unless they're asked. Their inquiries will be shaped by their age and previous experiences, such as the death of a pet. Children under 7 may not fully understand that death is permanent, universal, and involves the body stopping completely. They may ask more literal questions, like "Who will Nan play with in heaven?" or "Who will take me to the park?"
In some cultures, being around the deceased is a natural part of life, but in Western culture, we’ve moved away from this. At Gillions, we believe in supporting families to be as involved as they wish in caring for their loved one after they’ve passed. This may include helping to dress them, spending time with them, or bringing them home before the funeral. While it’s natural to feel unsure about this, we often hear from families that the experience was deeply meaningful. Dressing a loved one can feel like a final act of love, especially if you helped care for them before they passed. We encourage children to be part of this process too.
Grief is a deeply personal journey, influenced by past experiences and the circumstances of loss. When a death is sudden, for instance, grief can feel more complex and harder to navigate than when the death was expected. While many find their own path through grief, others may require additional support
It is not just children who are deeply affected by the loss of a pet. Grief is a price we pay for love.
