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Your personal legacy

May 1, 2023

I’ve been going through some old photo albums recently from my grandmother’s time. There are some fascinating photos from over a century ago but mostly I don’t have a clue who the people are. Being a bit of a hoarder, I’m reluctant to move the anonymous ones on but it got me thinking about how we can make it easier for our family members when they have to organise our funeral.


Many family photos are in a digital format now, so they can be difficult or impossible for others to access. Think about how to ensure the photos you want to illustrate your life are shared – perhaps copy them onto a USB and keep it in a file box with your certificates and family information, awards, medals, anything really that has been significant in your life.


Family history and stories from years gone by are often not written down. How best to ensure they are not lost?


We are all busy and it seems we have plenty of time to gather these memories but sometimes we leave it too late and then there are regrets.


Next time you are all together for a family gathering, how about setting aside some time for this purpose. Have a note taker or record the stories digitally. Bring out the old albums, talk about your proudest achievements, the people who have influenced you, old family sayings and advice, your school days, holidays, sad and happy times.


This can be very emotional so have some tissues handy. It can also be a time of great joy and lots of laughter.

New Years Reflections

By Office • February 19, 2025
Writing down my wishes

Victorian Funeral Customs

By Keith Gillions • October 15, 2024
How Victorians Mourned

Pets grieve too

By Office • October 13, 2024
Because pets can't speak their grief often manifests in behavioural changes

The hard conversation - Euthanasia of a pet

By Office • September 21, 2024
Making the decision to euthanise a pet is never easy

Should children be involved

By Office • September 18, 2024
We’re often asked whether children should be involved after a family member's death, and if so, how? While you know your children best, our general advice is to include them as much as possible. Children will take cues from the adults around them, so if you're open and honest, they will likely follow suit. Answer their questions directly but avoid unnecessary details unless they're asked. Their inquiries will be shaped by their age and previous experiences, such as the death of a pet. Children under 7 may not fully understand that death is permanent, universal, and involves the body stopping completely. They may ask more literal questions, like "Who will Nan play with in heaven?" or "Who will take me to the park?"

Viewing the deceased

By Office • September 18, 2024
In some cultures, being around the deceased is a natural part of life, but in Western culture, we’ve moved away from this. At Gillions, we believe in supporting families to be as involved as they wish in caring for their loved one after they’ve passed. This may include helping to dress them, spending time with them, or bringing them home before the funeral. While it’s natural to feel unsure about this, we often hear from families that the experience was deeply meaningful. Dressing a loved one can feel like a final act of love, especially if you helped care for them before they passed. We encourage children to be part of this process too.

Grief

By Office • September 18, 2024
Grief is a deeply personal journey, influenced by past experiences and the circumstances of loss. When a death is sudden, for instance, grief can feel more complex and harder to navigate than when the death was expected. While many find their own path through grief, others may require additional support 

Navigating grief after a pet dies

By Office • September 14, 2024
It is not just children who are deeply affected by the loss of a pet.  Grief is a price we pay for love.

By Office • September 8, 2024
Lets get talking

2024 Pet Memorial

By Office • September 1, 2024
I still remember the heartache of putting our beautiful girl, Keira, to sleep after 15 years with us. We had a deep bond. She travelled with us overseas and to different cities. Her demise was very sudden and came as such a shock. Pets provide unconditional love, happiness, and joy. When that is taken away, there is a void left in their place. They are a loved member of the family. Some may not understand the depth of your grief, but for you, it is real. At Gillions, we have all lost pets. The grieving process cannot be forced or hurried; for some, it can be measured in years. Reaching out to others who have lost pets can help ease the grieving process. Since 2019, we have held an annual pet memorial—a funeral for your pet. We include the elements of a traditional funeral: a musician, celebrant, a slideshow of all the loved pets, a memorial tree, and light refreshments afterwards. Our next pet memorial will be held on Sunday, October 6th, at 2 pm in the Gillions Chapel. Please send your photos to pets@gillions.co.nz by September 30th. If you are unable to attend in person, we will live-stream the service.  "Everything you love will probably be lost, but in the end, love will return in another way." - Franz Kafka (1883-1924)
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