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The other side of the arrangement table

October 1, 2023

Death comes to us all – even to funeral directors.


Everyone here in the Gillions team has had their own personal experiences of death, our hearts have been broken too, and we also grieve.


I, first lost my mum and then not too long ago, my dad. For me, being on the other side of the arrangement desk was strange, yet comforting. You see, I had inside information. I knew the care respect and dignity my dad would receive from the first transfer into our care, right through to the day of the funeral (and beyond).


When someone comes into our care at Gillions, we treat them like our own family. We often get comments like ’look after her’ or ‘be gentle with him’ – we absolutely understand. We are very aware of how hard it is to trust your loved one to people you don’t know, but comforting to know that your person is being looked after by gentle, professional, qualified hands who have been caring for Dunedin’s community for many many years.

Caring for families is what we do best. We listen, we guide, and we make sure we do whatever we can to ensure that the families we look after celebrate their loved ones in the way they want to. That could be a traditional funeral in a church or other venue, or in our chapel, or a relaxed gathering in our small intimate Carisbrook Room, or at home. 


Lee Buckingham Dip.FD, Dip Emb

Senior Funeral Director / Embalmer

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Pets grieve too

By Office • October 13, 2024
Because pets can't speak their grief often manifests in behavioural changes

The hard conversation - Euthanasia of a pet

By Office • September 21, 2024
Making the decision to euthanise a pet is never easy

Should children be involved

By Office • September 18, 2024
We’re often asked whether children should be involved after a family member's death, and if so, how? While you know your children best, our general advice is to include them as much as possible. Children will take cues from the adults around them, so if you're open and honest, they will likely follow suit. Answer their questions directly but avoid unnecessary details unless they're asked. Their inquiries will be shaped by their age and previous experiences, such as the death of a pet. Children under 7 may not fully understand that death is permanent, universal, and involves the body stopping completely. They may ask more literal questions, like "Who will Nan play with in heaven?" or "Who will take me to the park?"

Viewing the deceased

By Office • September 18, 2024
In some cultures, being around the deceased is a natural part of life, but in Western culture, we’ve moved away from this. At Gillions, we believe in supporting families to be as involved as they wish in caring for their loved one after they’ve passed. This may include helping to dress them, spending time with them, or bringing them home before the funeral. While it’s natural to feel unsure about this, we often hear from families that the experience was deeply meaningful. Dressing a loved one can feel like a final act of love, especially if you helped care for them before they passed. We encourage children to be part of this process too.

Grief

By Office • September 18, 2024
Grief is a deeply personal journey, influenced by past experiences and the circumstances of loss. When a death is sudden, for instance, grief can feel more complex and harder to navigate than when the death was expected. While many find their own path through grief, others may require additional support 

Navigating grief after a pet dies

By Office • September 14, 2024
It is not just children who are deeply affected by the loss of a pet.  Grief is a price we pay for love.

By Office • September 8, 2024
Lets get talking

2024 Pet Memorial

By Office • September 1, 2024
I still remember the heartache of putting our beautiful girl, Keira, to sleep after 15 years with us. We had a deep bond. She travelled with us overseas and to different cities. Her demise was very sudden and came as such a shock. Pets provide unconditional love, happiness, and joy. When that is taken away, there is a void left in their place. They are a loved member of the family. Some may not understand the depth of your grief, but for you, it is real. At Gillions, we have all lost pets. The grieving process cannot be forced or hurried; for some, it can be measured in years. Reaching out to others who have lost pets can help ease the grieving process. Since 2019, we have held an annual pet memorial—a funeral for your pet. We include the elements of a traditional funeral: a musician, celebrant, a slideshow of all the loved pets, a memorial tree, and light refreshments afterwards. Our next pet memorial will be held on Sunday, October 6th, at 2 pm in the Gillions Chapel. Please send your photos to pets@gillions.co.nz by September 30th. If you are unable to attend in person, we will live-stream the service.  "Everything you love will probably be lost, but in the end, love will return in another way." - Franz Kafka (1883-1924)
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